Happy Things

Just some wonderful things about losing weight :)

I can look in the other half of my closet with all the smaller sizes when searching for clothes each morning. About 1/2 the time they now fit!

My clothes keep falling off

I feel happier

I wake up in the morning with more energy

I feel like I can do more when I work out. I don't feel like the fat lady in the corner, wheezing. I am proud of the exertion and excited to keep stepping it up.

Food does not consume my every waking thought

I have lost 28 inches and counting! :)

I don't have to sleep as long at night

I am less stressed. And when I am stressed, I feel better able to handle it.

Update

So it has been a long time since my last post. I feel so different these days. And Cheryl, the facilitator, mentioned that I should journalize about it so that I can go back and read how it felt when I have dark and down times in the future. So here goes....

My whole attitude has been, I can do this. Christmas is a food-intensive time of year and if I can resist the temptations of Christmas food, then I can do anything! Lol. We had a Christmas party with my office and they had it catered. And there was SO much food. Everywhere. Everyone congregated around the breakfast bar in the kitchen that had been lined with appetizers. And I ate nothing. :) Some of it tempted me, but I kept thinking, is this worth it? I finally had some raw tomato & cucumber slices from the salad for dinner. Just because we didn't actually sit down for dinner until 90 minutes after arrival, which was 45 minutes after my planned shake time.... But then we sat down at dinner and I had made my soup and got some more tomato & cucumber slices and steamed veggies (which the hostess had ordered with me in mind, such a sweet lady). I ate my soup and then I had like 4 pieces of steamed veggies and I was so full. It amazed me that I was that full after just that. In fact, there was so much food left on my plate, so I pushed it away. But it kept staring at me. So finally, instead of letting it sit there and picking at it (which I would have done in the past) I took my plate, and my DH empty plate and took them into the kitchen. I was so proud of myself. I was in control. My only indulgence was a bite of my DH cheesecake at dessert time. It felt good.

The day before Christmas, since all the family was in town, we all got together for dinner and I had my soup and a few cherry tomatoes. I feel like I am getting good at this. That food doesn't tempt me as much anymore. It is still tempting, but I can think it through before the reach and grab and stuffing of my face.

For Christmas dinner (on Christmas eve), I had already decided sometime ago that I was actually going to eat dinner. I think there was more food on my 3 year old's daughter plate than there was on mine. Lol. I enjoyed eating and enjoyed being a part of the dinner table. But the food wasn't the focus. The conversation (and the three kids) took up most of the focus. It made me feel incredible that I could feel full after what little I ate and that I didn't have to have the dinner roll or the dessert. I didn't even ask for a bit of dessert from my DH. I did get hungry again after all the gifts had been opened, so I went back to the fridge and had another ounce or so of turkey. And that was satisfying enough and filling enough to not go looking for more. Was very proud of myself.

On Christmas morning, my DH the chef, made a wonderful breakfast of pumpkin walnut pancakes and waffles with cranberry maple butter, eggs & sausage. I sat down to eat with everyone and had 2 bites of waffle, one bite of sausage, 3 bites of eggs and I was done. Nothing tasted good, except the eggs. Everything made me feel icky. So I quit. I actually quit. It was like, this is not worth it. So I got up and played with my baby niece :)

That night for dinner, my father-in-law (my in-laws have spent the week with us) made this pork roast, mashed potatoes and asparagus. I have been craving steak, baked potato and asparagus for some time now. But I sat down and had one stalk of asparagus, and a bite of the potatoes and a bit of the pork and it just sat in my tummy. It made me feel heavy, if that makes sense. And instead of just stuffing it in, like I would have in the past, I pushed the plate away. I actually pushed it away. And then I left the table to play with my DD. After everyone was done eating, I came back to the table to join the conversation, but the food was staring at me. So I decided to clear the table and do the dishes. That way I could still be part of the conversation without just sitting there in front of all that food.

It has been great that food is not in control. It is still available and still a temptation, but I feel like I am able to say no, I am in control and I can Choose what to eat or not eat. Just because the food is there and available, doesn't mean that I have to eat it. I feel proud of myself. I hope that I can continue to grow and change like this and make this "lifestyle change" that everyone is always talking about. I never want to go back to this. This is the second time I am having to lose these same pounds and I NEVER want to do this again. Total lost in 13 weeks is 39 lbs. I have 2 more weeks before transition, because I didn't want to transition during Christmas and New Years. So just 8 weeks more to go. I am excited and freaked out at the same time. But I feel more confident that I can and will succeed. :)

Start of Week 10

As of late I have been angry all the time. Angry at my DH, DD, my mother, my sister, everyone. And everything. Everything makes me pissy. Work, driving, quilting. I am tired of not eating, tired of being hungry a lot, tired of eating the same thing again and again. I am so ready for real food. I still have a few weeks left and had thought of extending a couple of weeks to get through Christmas and New Years since my last day before transition is the week of Christmas. But I am about ready to throw the towel and say forget it. My DH keeps saying but look at the results! 29 lbs in 9 weeks. Which is fantastic. So why am I so angry all the time?!?

End of Week 7

So only lost 2 pounds this week. *sigh* Thought I did pretty well this week. I worked out more, had less/no snacks. But I twisted my knee on Monday so my walking has been limited and I haven't been doing the stairs daily either.

But my total loss is 24 pounds. So am happy with that. I didn't think I was too broken up about only 2 lbs, but I came home and got kinda depressed.

We talked today about emotional eating. I am an emotional eater. Not like I didn't know that already, but kind of a shock to have it placed right in your face. I eat when I am stressed, bored and depressed. At least I don't eat when I am angry, lol.

I am having a hard time thinking of this as a lifetime change. Part of me still thinks of this as 19 weeks to lose some weight and then life "returns to normal." But I so don't want to be this big again. So it is hard to reconcile these two warring thought processes in my head.

Week 6 day 6

Having a hard time keeping from snacking. Ever since return from vacation it just seems like my will power has deserted me. DH bought a bunch of healthy snacks - fruit, whole grain crackers, fiber-ful cereals, etc. and it seems I can't seem to stay away from them. The candy that DD got from Halloween is untouched and undesired. But the crackers are killing me! And the peanut butter. DD is very much in the PB&J sandwiches these days and I find myself dipping a knife tip into the PB and eating it. And the crackers are not a ton, but 2 or 3 at a time 2 or 3 times a day adds up. It is like STOP already!

So my goals today were to not snack and to workout 30 minutes. I did the workout, but did have 2 crackers and 3 celery sticks. Not counting the celery, but the crackers.... why oh why can't I seem to stop?! ARGH!

Week 5/6 Recap

So for most of week 5 and into week 6, we went on vacation to visit my DH's family in VA. It was a great time and I did really well with the plan the first part of the week. Then Wed, we went to see DH's grandparents. They are real southern folk with that feed everyone everything in sight mentality. I did avoid some of that because I hid behind DD at the dinner table and focused on making sure she ate and sat still. But I did eat more that meal than to date, which still wasn't much - about 2 oz of ham, couple of bites of mac & cheese, fruit salad and a couple of yummy bites of cake. But my tummy disagreed with me later that night...

Then Thursday, we had sibling day with my DH and his bro & sis. We went to a Shakespeare play, shopping, quilt store shopping (while the boys went to a movie) and then we went to this very fancy restaurant that sis made reservations for. I didn't order anything but a side of veggies (collard greens, rugela, etc) but I tasted everything else. I so paid for it the next day. I felt awful and spent most of the afternoon and evening in bed or on the couch. You would have thought I had learned my lesson the day before. But this was so much worse. I can't believe I ate that much. In comparison, it wasn't much, but my GI system was very very unhappy with me for what little I did eat. This is one of the best motivators to not fall off the wagon ever again. lol

So we finally got home Saturday. What a loooonnng day. Of course I was very hungry by the end of the plane trips. We had a layover in Atlanta for 3 hours. & I hadn't brought a shake mix and couldn't seem to figure out how to get hot water for soup mix. I had already eaten 2 bars and so snacked on some of DD's lunch. We had been up since 3a to catch a 6a flight and my defenses and will power were definitely low. I had some issues later that day, but nothing like the past 2 days. But I felt a bit limited in my options since I couldn't take any liquids with me in the airport/plane because of the TSA regulations of all fluids have to be under 3 oz, including drinks. You can't even bring a bottle of water through security with you. They make you toss it. You can buy drinks after security, just can't bring in stuff from outside. Anyway, made it through the flights. Then my sister picked us up from airport. We all took 2-4 hour naps. Then DD went trick-or-treating with her cousin and we drove the 4 1/2 hours back home. Whew! What a long day - 3a EST to 11p MST....

Sunday was a very nice day. Relaxed and slept in my nice wonderfully soft and big bed. My in-laws had us on a double bed that was like sleeping on boards. I actually had bruises on my hips and ribs. We finally ended up buying a mattress pad during the week and it helped, but not enough. I slept so well Sat night in our wonderful king size bed with pillow top and memory foam. :):)

So got on scale Mon morning. It showed I lost 6 pounds! Holy cow! That brings me up to 21 lbs in 6 weeks. So excited. Hope it stays that way and I continue to lose through weigh-in day on Thursday.

A little trepidations, they are showing the film Food, Inc. at the Life Center tomorrow night. I arranged a sitter but not really sure I want to see this. I have heard it will turn you off food forever and it will make you sick thinking about all the things you have eaten. Not sure if I am ready, but I guess I am going anyway.... Wish me luck!

Week 4 Day 2

This morning, our DD had a soccer game. Then we decided to go to the mall afterwards to look at stuff to take on our trip and the get haircuts. All three of us needed them. But I didn't plan very well. I had brought a shake to the game, but didn't bring a back up for after the game, because the games last less than an hour. Didn't plan on going to the mall afterwards. But between the shopping and 3 haircuts, it was 1:30 before we got home, time for my third shake of the day without having had the 2nd one....

So I had a bar as soon as we walked in the door because I was very hungry. So was our DD and I knew that if I started to make her lunch without getting something else for me first, then I would be tempted to snitch. Did fairly well. Then made one of the soups. But I had gotten so hungry, that even doubling up like that didn't satisfy or satiate. So I ended up having a diet soda and a piece of gum.

Spent most of the afternoon not really sure what to do. Kinda wondered from thing to thing, with a lot of time spent on the computer. Kinda still in that post tax season daze of feeling like I need to be working, when I don't have to, but not really sure what I need to do. So cleaned up the kitchen and the office as well.

I told DD that we would work out together after she finished her dinner. Well, got sidetracked and was getting her ready for bed when she piped up that we forgot my workout. So, even though this was really a 3 year olds delay tactic to not go to bed yet, I set up the workout on the Wii Active and we got to it. She did very well considering it was a 45 min workout. She kinda quit after 25 min or so, but that was incredible for a 3 year old. I nearly quit at the 35 min mark, but I knew that there were only 5 more exercise sections left, and that I could do this. So finished, but by then I was very hungry again. Put DD daughter to bed and then sucked down that 5th shake so fast. I hate it when I do that, because I find myself looking for something more. I do much better when I make a serving last for a good 20 minutes or so. So twice today I ate fast, so kind of a not very satisfying day. Finally did end up eating a celery stalk, because I remember the doc mentioning once that another of his patients used celery as a stopgap when he needed something more. I think that I might need to do that as well. There are times when I just need a little something more, between scheduled shakes. But I still need to work on the need to eat because I am bored or lonely, etc, rather than the need to eat because I am hungry. Sometimes it is hard to tell if I am searching for something more because I am hungry, or emotional... Wonder how I conquer that?

Week 4

So today wasn't so great. Work was relaxed and didn't get much work done. But no worries. It is the day after the season ends. Nobody gets anything done....

After work I went to the pool and did 20 laps in 35 minutes. Don't know how fast that is, but was pretty happy with myself. My right knee is acting up. Sigh. It never hurt before this summer and working out with a trainer. It is definitely time to get this extra weight off...

So then went to DH's work where he is a chef. Took DD with me and she ate pasta. But the problem was that the waiter brought a plate of bread. So should have had him take it away. They are small slices, and homemade. & very yummy. But I couldn't resist. I had a full 1/2 slice of one kind and 2 bites of another slice. *sigh* And then I came home and was very hungry (I had coffee at the restaurant). But I really wasn't in the mood for a shake. So I had a diet soda and a bar. But I kept going to the kitchen to look for something to snack. I made DD a quick snack before bed, since she needed more than just pasta. So got her a yogurt & peaches and I cheated with 2 bites of yogurt & 1 slice of peach. And then I had like 5 crackers. Stop already!!!! Oh my goodness I can't believe I ate all that. I just ate stuff b/c I was bored. Also there is a bit of tax season let down. I am wandering around with all this free time all of a sudden and I haven't yet gotten back to what I normally do, so I fill like I have all these hours to fill.

So I was looking for more journeys for inspiration. I found this site: http://stopitsscrappintime.blogspot.com. She looks amazing. She started about the same time I did one year earlier. So is very inspirational to see the drastic changes. She does a video blog and she also does a lot of scrapbooking blogging, so you kinda have to look for the entires. But it is like, if she can do it and looks GREAT after 1 year, then so can I. The videos are great so the changes are very visual. She lost 49 lbs in 8 weeks. I am so amazed and impressed. I don't think I will have those grand of losses, but I am very pleased with my 12 lbs in 3 weeks.

Tomorrow is a new day and I have to not cheat again.

So my goals this week are to work out at least an hour a day. I also have to start and finish 4 placemats for my in-laws for Christmas. We will be going to visit them a week from tomorrow, so I wanted to take the Christmas gifts with us. I also need to clean out my car and clean the kitchen. I think these are do-able things to do this week.

End of Week 3

So I lost 3 pounds this week! After the hectic stress filled week, this is fantastic. Especially since I really could only work out 2 days this week. And I stopped my hall walking & going down to the first floor to use the restroom so I would climb the stairs 3-5 times per day.

At first, I was actually disappointed about 3 lbs. Disappointed! Am I crazy? This is 3 pounds we are talking about. I got to thinking, and the entire time at WW, I think I might have lost 3 lbs in one week like 1 maybe 2 times. & I was with WW for over a year. So this is fantastic. My average so far is 4 lbs per week - 12 lbs in 3 weeks. Very excited!

Our meetings seem to go long. Apparently we all like to talk. & our facilitator always starts the meeting with asking each of us how our week went. It is great to talk like this. I feel like I almost get more from other people's experiences than the set topic. It is nice that there are only 4 of us. Next week, another person will return. Apparently he went out of town for a couple of weeks and then got sick. So he has been gone for 3 weeks...

I am still skeptical of drinking a shake at the prescribed time even if you are not hungry. But I guess I can understand the cumulative effect, because I am only feeding my body 800 calories per day. So even if I am not hungry, my body needs the fuel. Wonder how this will translate over to when I go back to food?....

I am finding that how hungry I am during the day depends a lot on when I eat breakfast. For the days that I went into work early and had breakfast like 6:30 or 7, then I felt hungry all day long. For the days that I "slept in" a bit and didn't get to work until 7:30 or later and had my first shake of the day around 8a or 8:30, then I felt full all day long and was stuffing in the 4th & 5th shakes just because I should. So I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing, to eat earlier to jump start my metabolism? Or to wait so that I feel more full throughout the day? *shrug*

One thing we did talk about in tonights meeting was another Optifast graduate who has a blogspot. It is http://gjoptifast.blogspot.com/

Week 3 Day 6

So this is the final deadline for taxes. Thursday is it! Finally! But as a consequence, we have a LOT of food around the office - brownies, cookies, donuts, candy, chocolate. I have resisted! I keep this mantra going in my head that this food is not worth it. That my getting healthier and thinner is worth so much more than the taste of some, albeit yummy, food. So I have stayed strong. Just 2 more days - today & tomorrow. I can do this!

Week 3, Day 3

So I am 3 days into week three and things are going better. I am trying to stay more relaxed and less stressed. Final tax deadline is in 4 days, so my stress level will drastically decrease after that. I am getting more sleep, thanks to benadryl (the PM part of Tylonal PM). I have also worked out twice already. Friday I took the stairs at work 4 times, took 2 walks around the parking lot, then came home and took DD for walk to the local Duck Pond and then we raced around it - as much as you can race with a 3 year old... :)

Today we all went as a family to trail by the river. It is quite nice and peaceful and very beautiful. The colors are changing, so the scenery was very picturesque. We walked for about 90 minutes and I am beat....

I also got to start with the bars and soup this week. Was kinda funny when I actually had lunch with a spoon! Still a powder you mix with hot water, but surprisingly good. The bars are a life saver. I am still frequently looking to chew something, so after 2 weeks of drinking meals, there is great satisfaction in actually chewing something! Never thought I would be so happy with this little change in diet. I have also picked up some Diet Rite which is made with Splenda, so doesn't taste as nasty as other diet sodas. I blend it with ice and the shake powder for a nice evening meal. I am chewing less gum these days, which is nice. In the 2 1/2 weeks I have been doing this, I have gone through 4 or 5 packs of gum. Helps with the desire to chew something.

I am very happy that I am not as hungry anymore. Also, I started my first week only having 4 shakes a day and was reprimanded. I should have 5 servings a day. That was also something the doc mentioned at the end of week 2 - that I was having my last shake at 8:30 or 9 at night. He recommended spacing it better in the day so that my last one of the day is at 6:30 or 7p. Will see how these changes reflect on the scale this coming week.

We are going to visit DH's family in 2 weeks so this should be interesting. I will have to pack all my "food" for the entire week, so am trying to stockpile to make sure I have enough product to last. My DD is very excited - it will be her first time on a plane. Hope things go well!

Week 2

So, the second week was harder. I ate a few more than 2 bites a day. In fact, on Sunday, I had 1/2 a slice of pizza and on Tuesday I had a caramel macchiato. I was also very stressed at work and didn't sleep well any night. And I only got to work out 3 days during the week rather than the 6 I did the week before. So, at weigh-in I didn't gain or lose anything. At least it wasn't a gain... But still.... So it was very frustrating. I am trying to be upbeat.... but it is hard. So week 3 I am going to do better.

At the meeting, we had a physiologist come do the discussion. We talked about metabolism. Most of it was what you pick up here and there, but was a nice refresher. They have this test that can measure your individual resting metobolic rate. I think I want to try that. Will have to check that out.

Day Seven

So I skipped yesterday. Nothing seemed to go as planned yesterday. Oh well. The diet went fine, just everything else went haywire.

So today was weigh-in. I lost 9 pounds! WooHoo!!!!

Lots to say about meeting, but my head is too full. Will have to write more tomorrow when I am not so tired.

Day Five

Each day gets easier. But mealtimes seem to be the worst. Mainly because even after the shake, I am still hungry. So can't wait until my stomach shrinks and I stop feeling hungry.

Met with the trainer at the Life Center today. She helped me set up a weight training program and took my measurements. So I mostly have a starting point now. I just need to get some before photos.

One great thing about working with the Optifast center here is that it is through the hospital and is also tied to the hospital's Life Center which has a full gym including pool and trainers. So as an Optifast participant, I get full access to the gym and I can meet with a trainer at any time for free :) Right now, though, I don't have a sitter for my DD until my mom gets back from her vacation, so I am just trying to do things at home. So far I have taken at least a 10 minute and up to 40 minute walks with her every day. I also started a new thing at work. As an accountant, my job is very sedentary. So I was looking for ways to add activity. So... My office is on the third floor and the restrooms are on the far end of the floor, for each floor. So I walk down the hall, down the stairs, and use the restroom and first floor. That way I have to climb back up the 3 flights to go back to work. Also, a couple of times, I take a quick walk around the building before re-walking up the stairs. It makes me feel really good, even though really winded.

Day Four

Today was easier. But my concentration started to die out around 11:30a. & I got so crabby until I left work at 2p. Then I took a 2 hour nap. So nice. Went for a long walk with DD. Put her into the stroller and really booked it. But I got winded so quickly. Wonder if the lack of caloric intake is affecting how early I feel fatigued when working out.... I finally allowed myself 2 bites a day. Today I had a baby carrot and a small strawberry. Hope that doesn't wreck things....

I keep having thoughts that I must be crazy to do this and why the heck did I choose to do this? But like my DH said, I am doing this to get healthy and have another baby. So I have to keep that thought in the forefront of my mind.

I never thought the internet would be such a great support. I love using the net, but I have never been one to blog or read other's blogs. To me, the internet was a research tool and fun and interesting things to find. But the net has been awesome. I found this great site - 3 fat chicks on a diet at www.3fatchicks.com and it was filled with all kinds of assistance and inspiration. It kept me going when I went through my 11:30a slump.

I also found this site that talked about how to create a well formed outcome and get what you want. So I went through the steps with my DH via IM and it helped immensely. It kept me on track and let me keep going. Here is the article: http://www.buzzle.com/articles/6-steps-handling-food-cravings.html

Day Three

Even though today is Sunday, I had to work, it being 2nd tax season and all. But it turned out to be a good thing. I had nothing to snack at work which is a good thing. So I had my morning shake and then a cup of coffee. But late in the morning, after my second shake, my DH brought my DD and another coffee to me. Which was greatly desired, but did not agree with my tummy at all. Even after my third shake for the day, my tummy was very upset about that second cup. I know better. Even when I am eating normally, 2 cups of coffee in one day really upsets my tummy. So I finally had to give in and eat a piece of bread to settle it down. Did the trick.

Today was easier than any of the other days. I wonder why that is. I was reading some other posts, and a couple of people mentioned that day 3 was the hardest. So far it is just getting easier. I went into this program with the mindset that this is going to be easy, that I can and will do this, and I will succeed. That first day was tougher than I expected. And mid-day of day 2, my DH put me into time out since I was being a grouch. But it is getting easier to handle. The desire to eat is less, the habit of reaching for food at every available moment is decreasing. So I feel like I am making progress. My concentration was also better today. On the afternoon of Day one my concentration was shot. & That evening was awful. I couldn't seem to keep doing any one thing for longer than 10 minutes. I bounced from activity to activity until I finally gave up and went to bed... But today is better. I lasted at work until 2p, but had to come home and take a quick nap. I haven't worked out today as of yet, so I wonder if that has something to do with it... Will try and take a walk sometime this evening.

Day Two

So today was easier than yesterday. I didn't feel so hungry so often. And the day was busy. My husband (DH) and I took our daughter (DD) to her soccer game this morning. Then we came home and he fed her lunch while I went to the gym. Then DD went to naptime and DH and I got to play World of Warcraft. The coffee helped during that time. But around 4p I started to get light headed, irritable and unable to concentrate. But 4:30 was my next shake time, but I went ahead and drank it early anyway. Then we all went for a walk and now I am craving food quite badly.....

I keep trying to think of this like a smoker trying to quit. I personally never smoked, but one of my co-workers did and she used the patch and gum to quit the first time. Then after she relapsed, she quit cold turkey the second time and hasn't gone back since. So I am trying to view this Optifast like it is the patch. I am trying to view it like a way to get rid of my food addiction. It is not like you can just quit eating cold turkey, like one can with smoking, but the Optifast is my patch. I think that it will help me learn to stop craving food all the time, to view food in proper perspective, as something necessary to live, not as an emotional crutch. So I need to find ways to fulfill the cravings that food once did, though poorly. For example, food was my comfort, my friend. My DH works nights and so after my DD goes to bed around 7:30, I am home alone, stuck in the house until I go to bed until 9:30 or 10p. So what did I used to do? I ate. I would cook things, snack on things, eat everything I could think of. That was my comfort. I am still searching for something to alleviate the boredom and the loneliness.....

My other relationship with food is to stress eat. At work (I am a CPA, lots of stress!), when deadlines approached and things got busy and stressful, I would reach for the snacks. I always looked for multiples of something, such as nuts, grapes, trail mix, etc. No one large item would do, it had to be something I could eat repeatedly.

So, now, I am chewing gum. Today I had 3 pieces so far. Yesterday I think I had like 7.... So that is curbing my chewing craving, but not sure what to do to cure the underlying issue of stress, loneliness and boredom....

Day One

Today was my first day on the Optifast Diet. This is an all liquid diet for the first 13 weeks, then a 6 week transition period to reintroduce food. I started this because I desperately want to lose 80 to 100 pounds. I am tired of being the fat one. I am tired of the lack of self-confidence. The feeling that I can't do something because I am too fat. I can't keep up with my 3 year old daughter, I can't even tie my own shoelaces without having to hold my breath. This program promotes that I can lose 20%-25% of my original starting weight in the first 13 weeks. So for me, that would be around 60 pounds. That would be fantastic. The goal would be so close after that! I am so excited to see how I will look and feel after these weeks.

But today is day one. And it has been hard. Harder than I expected. I am supposed to have 5 shakes a day. The desire to chew something, to eat something is quite strong. I left work an hour early just so I could go home and take a nap before my next shake (which I am supposed to drink every 3 hours). Breakfast and the morning when just fine. It was lunch time that killed me. All the gals at work went out to eat and I went home (I work 6a-2p and the gals decided to do lunch at 1p). I know they are all very supportive of my decision. But I keep getting comments like, this must be so hard, I can't believe you are doing this, I couldn't do what you are doing, etc. And I know they are trying to help, but it makes me feel like it is that much harder....

So, after my nap this afternoon, I could have my next shake. And then I went on a 40 minute walk with my daughter. She got tired so we actually ended up walking back to our house and getting the stroller so I could walk some more.... I made her dinner and it was very hard not to nibble or snack. She likes to eat non mixed foods, so she had a hot dog, strawberries, and some pasta with cheese. I confess, I ate a bite of a strawberry and a bite of the pasta. But then I thought, I just cheated on my first day! How sad is that?!

So, after dinner, my daughter went outside to play and I came looking for support. But I didn't find much in the way of support sites or very small support sites for Optifast. So I decided to start my own blog.....

My plan for tonight after I but my daughter to bed is to quilt and maybe work some more from home. I am hoping this will distract me from craving food enough so I don't go hunting in the kitchen for something to eat....